The Axe

Kahless and I have a regular joke on Graffiti’s blog that I am, in real life, an axe murderer. Our last chat reminded me of this story.

I have had very little to do with axes. My last run in with one was in 1991 when my year at University had a celebration party. We were all about to become fully qualified social workers. It was celebration time. My house, cause it had plenty of room inside, with a large brick BBQ in the garden and a large garden. So we invited all the students, lecturers, tutors and all.

As a BBQ was to be part of the evening, G came over early to help set it up. Not being an Aussie male, of course, I have no idea how to operate a BBQ. So he is outside trying to light this BBQ – with large pieces of wood and a few bits of paper. I’m telling him he needs to chop some smaller to help get the fire started and he’s being the typical bloke, it’s fine, it’s fine. This will work.

So Madeleine, fed up with being ignored, grabs the splitting axe and some wood. Puts the wood on the chopping thingee and bang, ouch, that was my thumb !! Damn, that hurt !! An angry woman even with a small axe can be quite dangerous.

Just at that stage A walked in the door, and she took one look at it and said that we were off to the doctor. We left G there to get the fire going and meet and greet the people coming to a party at my house.

A and I went to the doctor’s. While we were sitting there, she said to me “Madeleine, your zip’s undone”. We sort of looked at each other. Me with my hand in the air, sore as the dickens, and only one had to do up my zipper. So A and I fiddled around and she pulled up my zip for me, amongst much laughter and silliness.

And yes, it did need stitches. The local hurt more than the wound did at that stage, but Madeleine was a very brave little girl, and she didn’t cry.

When we got back to the party, it was in full swing. G had been telling people that I had tried to chop off my thumb, much to everyone’s hilarity and G’s frustration. They thought I was up to some trick (who me??) and didn’t believe him. So when I arrived, stitched and bandaged, there was little sympathy. They really were thinking I was up to something and I think they were totally disappointed.

Madeleine

Thursday, 10 July 2008